RE: 蠢一點，再蠢一點，可以嗎？Can I be dumber?
There've been a number of comments on how cynical my previous post(s) have become, and I feel that I need to explain myself a little.
蠢一點，再蠢一點，可以嗎？Can I be dumber? was never intended to be cynical, or to mock the men (well, to be precise, the men talking in TVB's programme Sunday Report). Maybe it was my tone, or my wording "playing dumb" that got people misunderstood. The piece was not about suggesting women acting dumb/ stupid/ dumbing down their intelligence in order to keep a relationship. What I was trying to say there was that, when you are in an intimate relationship with another person, sometimes, it's better not to push too far.
The idea of that blog post was inspired by a conversation I had the other night with a friend. During our conversation, I realised one very important thing that I've learnt from my past relationships: shut up at the right time and not to ask questions to the extreme.
I don't know if it was because of my journalistic instinct. I have this great curiosity that drives me to ask even the most unaskable (Does this word exist?) questions, in order to get a satisfactory answer.
But obviously, such attitude is not applicable in a relationship situation. The more questions I asked, the greater the chance the conversation would end in an argument, and when it all adds up, the relationship is doomed. And I had a feeling that if one asks too many questions, one would give the partner an impression that one doesn't trust him/ her. Would I like it when the other person keeps asking and asking to the extreme? Not really, because I would feel that I was being interrogated, and that's just not right.
So what I've learnt is not to ask questions to the extreme -- even if I have this great curiosity. Stop asking when it's enough, and allow each other some space -- this is not playing dumb. This is a smart thing to do.