好天真好傻 Too Stupid, Sometimes Naive


Oh, peach blossom, where art thou?
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看完這單新聞,心裡一沉,也令我想起一件中學時代的往事。

大概是中六那年,我和幾個中學同學一起到般含道的一家補習社跟一個鬼佬補習英文。我們都算是進取型的學生,知道要學好英文,無論是否要應付考試,跟外籍老師還是最有用。那鬼佬年輕,外貌不錯,風趣幽默,也跟我們提及他的家鄉英國,他在香港生活的趣事,還有他的男flatmate,他還有邀請我到他的生日派對。我們都喜歡上他的堂,教得好唔好不是重點。那補習社是跟鬼佬對分我們付的學費,後來我們跟鬼佬達成協議,不再到補習社,改到他在西環警署對面的家補習,付相同的學費。

那時我的同學都知我有點喜歡那鬼佬,所以要到他家時我都有點不知所措。來到他家門前,我深呼吸一下,探頭一望,發現他家只有一個睡房,睡房內只有張雙人床。我呆透了!那他的「flatmate」睡在那裡?

我估後來他知道我對他有意思,所以他也清楚的告訴我,他是喜歡男生的。我appreciate他的坦白,但習實在補不下去,過了不久,我也再沒有到他家補習。

數月後,他致電給我。無事不登三寶殿,他直接問我可否幫他一個忙,他說:「你可以跟我結婚嗎?」

吓?

「是這樣的,香港主權移交後,我要那visa才可留在香港,但我的工作不能讓我拿到visa,但我又捨不得離開我的男朋友,如果你跟我結婚,我便可以留下。」

唔係呀fa?

「你跟我結婚,你也有好處:你可以拿到英國護照。」

天真的我,聽到這樣的proposal,覺得點解有人可以這樣對待婚姻?結婚不是要兩個人相愛才可以成事嗎?婚姻是用來換取居留權的工具嗎?

「唔得。」說罷掛掉電話,再也沒有跟鬼佬聯絡了。

現在看到這新聞,我不禁後悔自己當年做了一個最白痴的決定 -- 點解我咁X蠢?宜家香港變成咁,教我怎樣在這裡生活下去?無視事民聲音,無視法治,用各總手段進行利益輸送,甚麼用公帑開一間可享有access政府資料的有限公司,逃過立法會及傳媒大眾的監管,還要限制公眾對有限公司的查核,香港就是給這班狼出賣,香港好快會同大陸一樣,黑暗,貪污,腐敗。

如果當年我有同鬼佬結婚,可能我一早已移民英國,不用理會這城市如何沉淪下去。現在想移民,可能太難也太遲了。


Hong Kong's recent political turmoil constantly reminds me of this hilarious marriage proposal I received when I was a teenager.

He was a British gentleman, my private English language tutor. I was a teenage secondary school student who had the great ambition of scoring straight As in public exams. We met at this language learning centre on Bonham Road when my ambitious classmates and I signed up for an English language class outside of our school hours. We felt what we learnt at school was not enough and we pooled our resources to hire help.

So we were assigned to the classes by Richard -- a tall and cute young British gentleman who had a great sense of humour. We loved his class. Though at times we felt that we were not learning much how to tackle public exam papers, we had a great time. In fact, the jokes we shared in class helped us a great deal in building our confidence in conversing in the English language.

We got along and I felt that Richard was particularly interested in me -- perhaps I was the only one who understood his sense of humour because I was watching a lot of British TV shows and BBC (and listening to Britpop), and I was working hard on faking a British accent. He even asked me out once to join his birthday party at some bar in Wan Chai. He said he could introduce his roommate to me too! I was pretty excited and shared the information with my classmates. But I turned him down because I was too scared to go on a date (What was I thinking?).

After a few months, Richard suggested we could have the class at his place. We'd still pay the same amount of money but by moving the class to his place, he did not have to give the language centre a cut. And his place was quite close by, so for us, it wasn't a bad deal.

The first time we went to his place -- I was super excited! I was thinking, OMG I could finally see where he lives.

Upon entering the flat, we could see a small living room and a small dining room, where a small dining table sat in the middle. It was enough to fit our group for the class.

Richard showed us around his flat. Upon reaching one of the doors, he pointed at the door and said: "this is the bedroom."

We poked our head inside and saw one double bed. A classmate asked Richard: "how many bedrooms are there?"

"One only. This is a tiny flat."

"Where does your 'roommate' sleep?"

The answer was more than obvious. Richard was gay. His "roommate" was more than just his roommate. He was his boyfriend!

I wanted to dig a hole and hide there for good. It was utterly embarrassing. How did I convince myself that a gay man was interested in me romantically? Soon after episode, I stopped going to the class.

The story would've probably ended there but just months before June 30, 1997, the last day of the British rule in Hong Kong, I received an unexpected phone call from Richard.

We exchanged greetings politely, and out of a blue, Richard proposed.

"Would you marry me?"

"What???????"

"Listen, Hong Kong will soon be handed over to China and I will need a visa in order to remain in Hong Kong. I cannot marry my boyfriend obviously. But if you marry me, I can stay."

"You are mad! Why would I want to do that???"

"Let's make a deal -- if you marry me, I get to stay in Hong Kong. In exchange, you get a British passport."

No one had ever proposed me a deal like that. But I was too young and naive: "ABSOLUTELY NOT! You get married for love! Not passports! Goodbye Richard."

Years later, whenever I read the news about Hong Kong's political upheaval, I ask myself if I made a bad decision back then.

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